Mr. Warmth, comedian Don Rickles: Are Cisco employees hockey pucks?
By Brad Reese on Fri, 02/13/09 - 5:34pm.
Earlier this week, yours truly enjoyed a free online Hulu.com movie titled: Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project.
In the movie, even a one-legged dog missing an ear and going by the name of "Lucky" would be considered fair game for being the butt of a joke by famous insult comic - Don Rickles.
That's why upon reading the comments to a Valleywag blog post titled, Cisco, the Best Lousy Place to Work, I couldn't help but think that perhaps either Don Rickles himself or at the very least more than 2 score of his "insult comic clones" were making fun of Cisco employees, but why though?
Well, in the Valleywag blog post, it states that Cisco CFO - Frank Calderoni announced a Cisco cost-cutting initiative that would eliminate free drinks in Cisco employee breakrooms, saving Cisco $12-13 million.
Then rather snidely in my opinion, Valleywag editor - Owen Thomas questioned whether "Cisco's bean-counter-in-chief" (i.e. Calderoni), "isn't trying to turn employees into a profit center."
After Owen's jab at Calderoni, his blog's comments turned into a Don Rickles-Mania Insult-Fest!
Personally, yours truly would continue to offer free drinks in Cisco breakrooms, however, I would most certainly ban all drinks that are caffeine free!
Why?
Because caffeine and pizza built this nation's great tech companies!
In my younger years (true story), I was fortunate to be hired to operate the cash register and take food orders at a McDonald's on the Las Vegas Strip (in actuality, it was the McDonald's restaurant sandwiched between the Stardust and Westward Ho Casinos as shown in the picture to the right), earning quite a bit more than the $1.15 per hour I made as a busboy in Niagara Falls, Ontario Canada or the $1.60 per half mile I earned hoeing sugar beets in Grand Forks, North Dakota. During an employee break, my manager caustically scolded me for drinking a "large-sized" Coca-Cola, only then did he inform me that McDonald's employees were only allowed to drink "small-sized" sodas while on break.
Motivated, I experimented with a "study analysis" to see how much soda could be "wasted" due to "accidental overflows" while servicing customers. My experiments convinced me that allowing McDonald's employees to drink "large-sized" sodas on break while simultaneously teaching them soda overflow abatement techniques could possibly save McDonald's several million per year in soda costs.
Too bad my McDonald's career never advanced to where I could actually implement the ideas learned from my study results.
What happened to the career of my McDonald's manager?
Well unfortunately for him, he was eventually "caught, arrested and fired" by "corporate" for cashing and depositing into his own personal bank account the paychecks of his former McDonald's employees who never came back to collect their last and final paychecks, hmmm...
Fortunately for me, I was astute enough to collect and deposit my own last and final McDonald's paycheck.
Note: Cisco officially declined to comment regarding the "accuracy" of the Valleywag blog post.
In your opinion, do you think Cisco CEO John Chambers will miss his free Diet Cokes?
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Real Question is...
The real question is after this downturn, will Cisco be able to keep it's talent. Cisco has done a good job of keeping talent, but they have definitely lessened the "total rewards" they give to their employees. In these uncertain times I am sure everyone is happy to have a job, but what happens when the economy rebounds?
Symbolism
For me it's the "symbolism" of Cisco's breakroom drink cost-cutting initiative (i.e. we can't "afford and/or waste" a free soda on you, our employee). Am positive that Cisco employees if given the chance could suggest to Cisco cost-cutting intiatives that would save untold hundreds of millions for Cisco.
Will Cisco customers visiting Cisco offices pay for their "drink refreshments" now?
If not, why the double standard? If it's good for Cisco customers, it should be good for Cisco employees too!
Finally, why do fast-food restaurants now have "self-serve" soda bars? Obviously, because they make more "profit." What do McDonald's and Burger King management know that the Cisco "new age, cutting-edge operating committee, councils, boards and working groups" management don't?
Sincerely,
Brad Reese
BradReese.Com Cisco Refurbished
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